The Scream of the Shalka
A BBC Webcast for the 40th Anniversary. Original Airdate: 13 Nov 2003.
Starring Richard E Grant as the Doctor.
Part Two - Meet the Monsters
[Flat]
(The Shalka serpents continue shrieking at the Doctor, Alison and Joe. The Doctor looks unimpressed.)
DOCTOR: Ah, you must be the aliens. I've heard so much about you. It's been a long time since anyone screamed at me and then I only think they were waiting for Elvis to come on. But my poetry went down tremendously.
(He grabs hold of a lamp and swings it around, knocking the head off of one of the Shalka. The other one snarls at him. The Doctor holds up a tray, which reflects the tray back at it. Its head explodes.)
DOCTOR: Run!
[Street]
ALISON: You killed them!
DOCTOR: I do not kill. They're obviously bioplasmic creatures.
JOE: Obviously?
DOCTOR: Masses of goo. The bodies are just crusts. The scabs.
(They reach a shop. Since its night, it's locked. The Doctor begins picking the lock.)
DOCTOR: They'll knit themselves back together. Their eyes don't look much use, so they probably live underground. Navigate by sound and the hoods focus a sonic weapon to stun their prey. Right now, that's you.
(The door swings open.)
DOCTOR: In!
[Flat]
(The hole in the floor is now smoking. The two Shalka, seemingly reformed, begin shrieking before they jump back in and disappear into the depth.)
[Shop]
(The Doctor, Joe and Alison are looking around the shop for supplies. The Doctor is seemingly assembling something in a bin.)
ALISON: What are we doing here?
DOCTOR: Fertiliser bags, empty them into the container. Quickly! And, uh, uh,
(He snaps his fingers, trying to remember.)
DOCTOR: Newspaper. Alison, over there.
JOE: You're insane. What do you think you can do?
DOCTOR: Resist them, surprise them. Oh, and possibly perform a few show tunes, so hush. Don't just stand there.
(The ground starts rumbling.)
DOCTOR: Oh,
ALISON: I want to move, Doctor, but it's like this, This terrible fear, the vibrations,
DOCTOR: You fought back before, you can do it again. Or are you just the same as all the other sheep?
ALISON: Shut up! You show me.
(An orange crack heads down the road towards the shop. A Shalka scream can be heard.)
JOE: It's not that I'm a coward. You show me an army and I'll join it. But this is just us. How can this work?
DOCTOR: Oh, you do go on, don't you? If I can find a little something to add to this, then Johnny alien is going to get a good seeing too, from just us.
(He holds up a strange object.)
JOE: Why aren't you scared of the sound?
DOCTOR: I believe I may have let that slip before.
JOE: You're not human.
(He holds up a bag of something.)
DOCTOR: Decent of you to say.
ALISON: What are you?
(He begins pouring some powder from the bag.)
DOCTOR: Mildly annoyed.
(He lights a match.)
DOCTOR: There.
(He uses the match to light the fuse.)
[Street]
(The glowing crack, along with the Shalka shrieking, rounds the corner and approaches the shop.)
[Shop]
DOCTOR: Out! Now!
(The fuse approaches the bin. The two Shalka burst through the ground and shriek. They both immediately shut up when they see the fuse.)
[Street]
(The Doctor, Alison and Joe run away from the shop.)
ALISON: How big is this thing going to be? Only it's right next to,
(Explosion)
(The shop and a couple of the buildings next to it are now rubble.)
ALISON [OC]: ,our house.
(Two Shalka shriek as they descend into the Earth. The Doctor, Alison and Joe are stood in front of the smouldering remains of the building. The Doctor is shaking his hand in victory.)
DOCTOR: Got you! Got you!
JOE: What have you done?
DOCTOR: Everything. The sonic pulse from that will stun those creatures underground for hours, if I read their looks right. The ones in the shop will take days to reform. There's no thumping from downstairs now, so,
(People around them start shouting excitedly.)
DOCTOR: Listen.
(Alison and Joe listen to the crowd.)
DOCTOR [OC]: That's the sound of you being free.
(The shouting gets louder as lights are turned on.)
DOCTOR: I told you this would be over tonight, Alison, and I kept my word. So,This is goodbye.
(He walks away.)
ALISON: Goodbye.
(The Doctor pauses.)
DOCTOR: Oh. Sorry about the house.
(He continues walking. The Shalka Prime stares angrily before it lets out a shriek and disappears underground.
[Bridge]
(The Doctor returns to the bridge where he left his TARDIS and finds the smoking hole.)
DOCTOR: Rumpty. Haven't I done enough here? They're going to be fine.
(He dials the phone.)
DOCTOR: Secretary General? It's me. Yes, a spot of bother in Lancashire. I was wondering if you could send in a whole team of speleologists, yes. No, immediately.
[Shalka Lair]
(There are a lot of Shalka here, and they are all shrieking. Molten rock drips down occasionally. The Shalka Prime slithers between them. They have the TARDIS on a raised platform. She approaches it. She stops just short of it and lets out a slightly different shriek. The TARDIS seems unaffected by it for a second or two until the doors open.)
[TARDIS console room]
(The console room is a lot darker than it has been before. There's a massive spiral staircase running around the console, which is on a smaller raised platform. The roundels are still gone and in their place are tiny lights. The console itself resembles the one used by the 8th Doctor, but it's smaller and has more dials. A figure is stood by the console. The Prime approaches.)
FIGURE: Yes?
(The Shalka Prime approaches further and we get a glimpse at the figure's face. Like the Doctor, he's pale. However, he has a goatee. Brown eyes stare at the Shalka creature as she approaches with amusement. Yes, it's the Master.)
MASTER: My dear sir and/or madam say something. Do I take it you wish to board the TARDIS by force?
PRIME: Stand aside, lower creature.
MASTER: I pride myself that I'm the dearest companion to the owner of this craft, so I'm very much afraid that I shall not. As to the nature of our respective intelligences, might I suggest that, as the common saying goes, “Empty vessels make the most noise.”
PRIME: I think not.
(She shrieks at him. The Master presses a button on the console. A field appears that immediately knocks her out of the TARDIS.)
MASTER: As you just found out for yourself.
(The other Shalka begin shrieking.)
MASTER: I can continue to reflect all your screams, but, dear me, how tiresome.
[Street]
(A helicopter descends towards a crowd of civilians. Armed military personal have surrounded them.)
PA: Convey departing for the North of England and Scotland departing in five minutes. Surnames Adams to Matthews only. I repeat, Adams to Matthews only. Nelson to Zuma continue queuing in the clock tower. You will not be permitted on this transport. Continue queuing in the clock tower.
[Army HQ]
(Kennet, a bald army officer in a jumper, is sat behind a desk. The Doctor, clearly annoyed, is stood by the door.)
KENNET: Ah, you must be the famous Doctor. Major Thomas Kennet, 1st Royal Green Jackets, commander of this operation.
DOCTOR: I specifically asked for a team of speleologists, so I can retrieve my TARDIS, then I can be away from here.
KENNET: The evacuation phase should be complete by 2000, after that I need your help.
DOCTOR: I put everything I know about these creatures on record and listed a dozen academics and linguists who'll help you communicate with them.
KENNET: We can talk to them when they're no longer a threat.
DOCTOR: You do that. I won't be there.
(Kennet puts the Doctor's file onto his desk.)
KENNET: I've read your file. Exciting stuff. Help us and we'll get your TARDIS back.
DOCTOR: How ridiculous. I seem to attract the military. They're either arresting me, making strong sweet tea, or killing my friends. Go and find someone else to play your filthy games with.
KENNET: Doctor, we estimate the civilian death toll at 637. Now our job is to put ourselves in the way of that. While you get to get to be superior and eccentric.
DOCTOR [OC]: Were the control people doing anything in particular?
KENNET: Sitting at home. They were allowed to go to their jobs but most were so scared they leave their houses.
(The Doctor is scribbling on a chalkboard.)
DOCTOR: And nobody entered the town?
KENNET: Well, it seemed not to have occurred to them. Delivery lorries would dump their loads on the edge of town and then report back as normal.
DOCTOR: Such amazing control.
KENNET: Only one person reports seeing a creature before you brought them out of hiding.
DOCTOR: Alison Cheney. Yes I've met her.
KENNET: The big question is, why here? Why just this town?
(The Doctor stands beside the chalkboard, having finished his drawing. It's a geographical drawing of a hill top.)
DOCTOR: Because it's on top of a plug of ancient volcanic rock. I think these creatures evolved on their home planet to take advantage of rock like that to manipulate it with their sonic cries. The volcanic rock meets metamorphic rock at the hills here. These caves offer access to very near that point. My team of speleologists,
KENNET: My men and I will be going down there with you and then I'll get to see what a TARDIS looks like. Won't I?
DOCTOR: Hurrah.
[Shalka lair]
(The Shalka are still shrieking.)
[Truck]
(Alison is driving. Joe is sulking.)
JOE: So, you're finally getting out of small town, eh? Back to the big city.
ALISON: We are.
JOE: Except I don't want to go. That's my town back there.
ALISON: But maybe this is a chance for both of us to start again.
(A rumbling starts. Both Joe and Alison notice it.)
ALISON: Tell me that's the truck shaking.
(She narrowly misses something on the road and drives them into a ditch. The back of the truck begins glowing as a familiar shrieking starts.)
JOE [OC]: Get back, you freak!
(A Shalka burst up and shrieks.)
ALISON [OC]: Leave us alone!
(Alison faints.)
JOE: Alison!
(His hand reaches out as the Shalka and Alison disappear into the Earth.)